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Wrestlemania 33 Review

As a wrestling fan I believe we all live for Wrestlemania.
A year long build to the biggest event anywhere in wrestling.
This is my review of what I watched last night at Wrestlemania 33. (Let me emphasise and be perfectly clear that these are my thoughts and views, you will not change them anymore than I can change yours, so with that understanding in place, lets begin.)

Wrestlemania 33 was taglined 'The Ultimate Thrill Ride' however I think 'The Last Ride' is far more apt.

Lets begin with the pre-show kickoff.
The first match was Austin Aries vs Neville for the WWE Cruiserweight title. I want to begin this by saying that all the titles in the company should be seen as prestigious, but having ANY of the belts on the kickoff rather than main show greatly deminishes the value. So kudos WWE you brought back the title just to relegate it as you used to with the previous incarnation *slow claps*.
The match itself was good, blending pure mat based wrestling, submission and high flying to great effect. Both characters were clear and the commentary team kept casual viewers informed of Aries previous eye injury which featured in the matches finish. All round it was a good match that deserved a higher placement, with more respect. Still its doing better than the UK title right? *cue silence, pure silence*

Next the 4th Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal.
Well this was a mess.. Whoever booked this abortive attempt of a match needs to be fired.
Firstly Tian Bing of NXT *who barely anyone knows as he hasn't really been on TV yet* was in it, for no other reason that i can tell except that he was the first Chinese guy to compete at Wrestlemania... right?
Favourites to win like Big Show/Strowman/Zayn/Harper all were eliminated in rubbish nonsensical ways. Dolph Ziggler continues to think he is Shawn Michaels, now with one foot hits the floor but not both feet, i'm not eliminated.. etc etc bullshit.
The final 2 were Jinder Mahal and Mojo Rawley.. Yes you are reading that right.. Jinder Mahal. AND Mojo Rawley.. who on earth thought that was a good idea??
Rawley won after Jinder pissed off Mojo's american football friend in the front row *decked out in full Mojo merch.. of course*, who knocked Mahal down with a shitty tackle for a cheap pop before Rawley eliminated him.
Now first of all, what the hell just happened?? I found myself, perhaps for the first time ever, cheering on Jinder Mahal!? Secondly Mojo Rawley? REALLY!? What a waste.. he is absolutely rubbish.. awful gimmick, awful wrestler, annoying as all hell and is clearly a 8 year old trapped in a mans body.. *Although by referencing Big I make it seem potentially entertaining.. it wasnt, he isnt!*
In short rather than elevate a talent who has earned it, they gave it to a guy who Zack Ryder couldn't get over and who will be released in 2 years time alongside the mantle 'Hey remember he did win the 2017 Andre the Giant Battle Royal' to which most will reply 'No one cares'.

Final match of the kickoff show was Baron Corbin vs Dean Ambrose for the Intercontinental title.
Now I thought we got past having one of WWE's oldest and most well loved Champsionships on the pre-show.
For the last 2 years we've had genuinely good IC ladder matches kicking off the main show, providing feel good title wins for both Daniel Bryan and Zack Ryder, this year we got a nothing match that felt entirely forced.
Corbin has built this rivalry with numerous attacks on Ambrose, from attacking within the Elimination Chamber to launching Ambrose into electronic equipment to crushing him with a forklift, everything had been built outside the ring.. So did we get an entertaining Street Fight? Or a fun Falls Count Anywhere match? ..No, we got a fairly dull back and forth with neither man doing anything overally exciting and with Ambrose retaining.
Once again WWE failing to build and use Corbin correctly. He was replaced in the main event of Survivor Series needlessly, had a good showing at the Royal Rumble where he eliminated Braun Strowman, looked strong in the Elimination Chamber *although was eliminated first* and again could have excelled in a heavy hitting hardcore match or even been given a title run to raise his stock... But we get a clearly bored Dean Ambrose retaining who has no momentum *applauds* bravo WWE.. bravo.

So onwards now onto the main show.
AJ Styles vs Shane Mcmahon.
Well, what had some potential beforehand left me completely underwhelmed.
Shane Mcmahon is NOT a wrestler. Shane Mcmahon CAN wrestle.
These are important things to remember. Shane thrives in ridiculous hardcore or high risk situations, to my knowledge other than those kinds of matches no one has ever said 'did you see that Shane match? Was a 5 star wrestling clinic'. No, if its high Shane will leap off it.. bird has to fly, fish has to swim, Shane will nearly die jumping off things, rules of nature.
However, he was against AJ Styles, arguably the best in ring worker in the world. AJ has 5 star matches.. a lot.
Again points worth remembering.
We got a somewhat sloppy match of Shane 'wrestling/mma fighting' and AJ trying to make it look credible. Why book the non-wrestler to try and outwrestle the excellent wrestler? We got a needless coast to coast spot with a trash can *after the ref had apparently died for 8 mins* we also got the sloppiest styles clash ever. Shane flying through a table.. completely standard.
It just felt completely mismatched and lacked either mans preferred match style. Which meant we sat through a heartfelt attempt to make the match believable.
All in all it felt like a throwaway.. In the end the best wrestler beat the non-wrestler. We never would have guessed.

Kevin Owens vs Chris Jericho for the United States title.
Not much to say about this really. It certainly deserve a higher place on the card.
Owens will always give you a great match, excellent psychology and fantastic ring work. Jericho is awesome and deserves this current run... drink it in maaaaaannnnnn.
The two went at it as only former best friends can. Well timed and thought out spots. Nothing spectacular but solid, psychology and story built well and actually a match worthy of being on 'the grandest stage of them all'.
It worked for what it needed to, Owens takes the US title for a first time run, that will hopefully restore some pride in the belt. Jericho has earned some time off to persue his other commitments. No one lost face, both did very well. Exactly how it should be.
*applauds both men*

Bayley vs Sasha Banks vs Charlotte vs Nia Jax WWE Raw Womens title match.
I wanted this to be good. I really did.
But once more, it was a little underwhelming.
Nia Jax starts by destroying all the women and asserting dominance. Good.
The other 3 all team up to take her out and eliminate her. Good.
Charlotte then misguidedly tries to celebrate with the 2 other women.. Seth Rollins did this exact thing with Reigns and Ambrose after their mini shield reunion, like 2 years ago.. we haven't forgotten and so was a poor imitation.
Charlottes corkscrew moonsault and standard moonsault both looked great.
Sasha was incredibly over, but was eliminated next and honestly, the match died at that point.
I love Bayley, i really do, but she wasnt the one the crowd were with.. After Sasha was eliminated a chorus of boo's went up and the noise and enthusiasm of the crowd petered out.
Bayley and Charlotte did fairly well but the atmosphere had gone. Bayley retained in what was supposed to be a big feel good moment, but in reality came over a little lukewarm which is a shame.. Perhaps if they'd waited to put the title on her at Wrestlemania it may have gone over better.

Raw Tag Team titles perhaps was the match of the night..
After weeks of fueding Cesaro/Sheamus, The Club and Enzo/Cass were slated to meet in triple threat match. Okay, sounds right..
Last week, randomly, it got upgraded to a Ladder Match..
Around the same time The Broken Hardys were rumoured to be coming home to WWE.. Ladder match.. Hardys? Yes we all saw the connection..
It only fucking happened! In what was possibly the most predictable 'surprise' return of all time. The Hardys took home the gold. That alone was amazing to see.
The match itself carried the typical ladder fodder.. Ladders as weapons, check. Enzo gets thrown around, check. Double team moves, check. Big moves off the ladder, check. Jeff diving off a stupidly high ladder? Check!
The match was fun, but frankly they could have done anything, the crowd were all for the Hardys.. Delete chants reigned and I personally am pleased to see the guys back.
I am still not convinced by Enzo and Cass..they're fun, but I still find it ridiculous that Enzo doesnt have his own finishing move. The Club will hopefully continue to be used and get more chances to show how good they really are. Hopefully WWE use the Hardys broken gimmick to its full potential and keep the tag division relevent.
Match was good. Return was awesome.

Cena/Nikki vs Miz/Maryse.. Okay so Cena did nothing of note. Nikki did nothing of note. Maryse did nothing of note. The Miz was fantastic.
Beat up Cena, heeled it up, got cheered. Fantastic..
Then, got squashed as Nikki and John pinned Maryse and Miz after little to no offence.. rubbish.
John Cena proposed to Nikki, all ego, all boo's, no one cared. Fuck off. Wheres my wresting?
This is not Proposalmania. Utter shit. It makes me genuinely angry that with many talented guys being reduced to a Battle Royal appearance, this crap made the show.

We got Pitbull playing music..
Moving on.

Triple H vs Seth Rollins
This was a pretty good match. Again story was built well and was open to all things as was unsanctioned. Finally a singles match with essentially a streetfight stipulation!
Very cool, Triple H made another grand if not, stupid entrance. Sledgehammer obviously made an appearance, standard issue of course. Triple H periodically returning for Mania each year seems like an ego trip to some degrees but he is working good matches and establishing stars, which does get my respect.
Rollins knee was sold as the target of most offence, which is fine apart from that Trips is hardly known for his submission skills? It would maybe have been better for Triple H to go for Seth's good knee.. ruin his entire mobility and pick him apart *im just being picky, just a thought*
We got a phoenix splash which is always nice to see! Stephanie was at ringside the whole time, for no other reason than to be knocked off the apron though a suspiciously well placed table *shit bump and why must the Mcmahon kids keep going through tables??* causing Seth to get a pedigree victory over Triple H at Mania'.. Triple H jobbed to his own move because it was best for business.. take notes Vince.. well done to both guys. Solid match.

Randy Orton vs Bray Wyatt for the WWE World title.
This match made me angry. Firstly the crowd didnt know who was heel or face and it made the crowd fairly silent.
Wyatt came in looking strong. Move after move. Methodical pace. I felt like Bray had a good rhythm and came across well. Randy got a little offence in, cue powerslam, draping ddt and stomping. Strange maggots/mealworms/cockroaches projected images appeared in the ring as Wyatt played mindgames with Randy. All seemed pretty good if not a tad weird, then Wyatt hit Sister Abigail.. the same move the beat Cena cleanly twice recently, beat AJ Style clean recently.. 1.. 2.. and Orton kicks out.
What the fuck? Way to build a finisher WWE, then completely ruin it.
Bray spiderwalks, strange graphics appear again. Randy hits an RKO *yes out of nowhere* Clean victory.
For some reason it felt like a rushed ending, they ruined all the work building Bray up.. Took the title off him.. No Rowan return, No Harper interferance.. and Bray STILL hasn't won a match at Mania'.
Ruined. Fuck you WWE.. what is wrong with you? Orton didnt NEED the win, its done nothing for him.. but you are killing off a future star in Bray Wyatt by persistantly and continually using him wrong. It makes no sense.

Brock Lesnar vs Goldberg WWE Universal title.
We all knew this wouldnt last long. Its served its purpose. Nostalgia and all that. Brock finally beat Goldberg. Fair enough. If it wasnt a spear, jackhammer, german suplex or f-5 we didnt see it. Goldberg took proper bumps. Draw a line under it. Done. Nothing more to add. Both guys got paid and took up no time. Fair enough.

Smackdown Womens title 6 pack challenge.
This was a mess. It got relegated to the pre-show to begin with. Fans kicked off *rightly so* as Raw's womens division gets all the time and attention, WWE under pressure relented and put it back on the show but stuck it on at the worst time.
They didnt let the women even finish getting to the ring, not even half way before the next one got sent out. It was rushed. Had little to no spots. Ellsworth was there and was pointless as ever. Naomi won somewhere in there and it had nothing at all going for it.. with talented performers like Alexa Bliss and Becky Lynch in there it needed to allow them to perform and it didnt.. may of had a better slot and more time if WWE got their priorities right and focused on wrestling rather than shite like Pitbull rapping..

Roman Reigns vs Undertaker.
I hated this. The match sucked. Undertaker blew spots. Reigns blew more spots.
Taker took chair shots a massive table bump and looked visably shattered. Thats right, the older more worn veteren took all the hard bumps. *rolls eyes*
Reigns looked sloppy, got boo'ed, cannot act or sell emotion at all.
I love the Undertaker. I have an immeasurable amount of respect for him and all he has done. For me he is THE wrestler and always will be.
But it shouldn't have ended like that.
He deserved better.
Reigns did not deserve that honour. I hate that we as fans are being force fed Reigns. I know its not his fault but its ludacris.
He didn't protect Taker, or go out of his way to help Taker look good one last time.. because Reigns cannot carry a match.
He is NOT the guy.. and dont think he has it in him to be.
I was genuinely saddened by this, The Undertakers final match. It should have been so much better for the man that has been the cornerstone of the company for nearly 30 years.
His exit was heartbreaking.
Honestly i cant say more, but im sickened that WWE didnt send him off in a fashion befitting a man like him.
Every veteren should go out on their back to promote a new guy as the future, they definately got it wrong though.. People may have accepted a guy like Finn Balor but Reigns was always going to be a bad choice, Royal Rumble to him eliminating Taker were an indication of this.
If you thought people hated Reigns before, prepare for the ultimate backlash after this. People think fans cannot affect things.. i think if this kind of personal hate continues WWE may need to re-evaluate how and where to use Reigns, or they'll start losing money on the main events they crowbar him into.

Wrestlemania 33 was really The Last Ride.
Frankly i want to get off and go home now.
Sorry WWE i think you screwed up what could have been the best Mania' in years.
Disappointed is the only word needed


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